i can't believe i had my finger in that
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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