Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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