Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
How's work?
Spinning.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
