he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
