You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
