Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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