why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
