I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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