So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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