This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
