dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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