i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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