Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
