i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize