We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
