this will be a night to untag.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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