mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
