I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
should my penis look like a turkey
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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