Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize