So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
my shit smells like andre
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
