We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
