love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He passed out mid-signature
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
