seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize