Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
