I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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