Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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