I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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