Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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