it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Randomize
