Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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