i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
