id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize