All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
