I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
