stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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