my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
