It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Randomize
