Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i used baking grease as lip gloss
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm having to shit out rocks
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
