At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
