love makes seman taste better
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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