omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
