Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
