How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
