I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
