that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
