i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
