I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
