i think my tv is drunk
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
