I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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