I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
