I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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