yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
