I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I can text with my tongue
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm both gender and math confused
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
