the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
