You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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