when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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