I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
