The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
