I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I think my vagina is haunted
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize