Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize