Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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