im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
