covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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