my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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