I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
