Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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