that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
