Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
you inspire me to be a worse person
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i out mim tonsoeep
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