Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I yelled at your uterus for you.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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