Hey man sorry I got all grabby
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
and you fell through a lawn chair
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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