I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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