The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
