You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Someone signed my nipple.
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