it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
