I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
